How Kids Engage with Technology at the Macomber Center

Technology, Anxiety, and the Media Narrative

In recent years, parents have been inundated by books and articles claiming that screen use is “bad for kids.” Video games, smartphones, and social media are often blamed for rising rates of anxiety, depression, and distraction. Yet the research behind these claims is inconclusive: While some studies suggest associations between heavy or problematic screen use and mental health challenges, there is no solid evidence that screens themselves are the primary cause of children’s unhappiness. Researchers consistently emphasize that the youth mental health crisis is far more complex than headlines suggest, and that the idea that simply restricting screen time will solve the problem is wishful thinking.

Kids are drawn to technology because they have a healthy instinct to survive and thrive in the digital world they are growing up in. At Macomber Center, we believe that the best way to prepare children for the future is to provide the freedom and support they need to learn how to optimize the benefits and manage the risks of the technology we use every day.

Risk, Autonomy, and Learning

There is no doubt that digital technologies carry real risks. But shielding children from activities that involve risk, whether climbing trees, playing in water, or experimenting with digital tools, does not protect them from danger; it prevents them from developing the direct experience and skills needed to navigate those risks safely and effectively.

Just as physical play builds strength, agility, balance, coordination, and confidence to effectively navigate the physical world, engagement with digital technology cultivates judgment, critical thinking, self-regulation, and competence. These skills are essential for thriving in a world where digital technology underpins communication, creativity, and participation in daily life. 

Video Games as Social, Literate, and Self-Directed Learning

At Macomber Center, video games are not a passive or isolating activity but a rich social experience. They often involve large, mixed-age groups with a wide range of maturity and skill levels, all working together.

Whether children are collaborating or competing, they are building their skills in communication, conflict resolution, and emotional regulation; learning how to manage frustration, handle disagreement, and balance individual aims with group success. Kids at Macomber master these skills because they are deeply invested in these activities for their own sake, and these activities require being able to work well and effectively with others.

The nature of gaming at Macomber Center also requires children to acquire new information and skills on the fly, adapt to changing goals, and navigate complex systems. In doing so, they learn to absorb information quickly, discern what is relevant, and communicate it effectively to others; skills that mirror how knowledge and expertise develop in real-world, collaborative environments.

Just as importantly, children teach one another; explaining mechanics, demonstrating techniques, and mentoring less experienced players. This cycle of learning, adapting, and teaching reinforces mastery and builds the flexible thinking, communication, and self-directed learning skills essential for participation in today’s world.

Many young children even learn to read and write through gaming, motivated by the need to understand instructions, dialogue, menus, and online discussions. Games frequently prompt research: children consult guides, compare strategies, and learn from peers and online communities.

Social Media and Self-Directed Learning

A paradox we have noticed at Macomber Center is that while our teens have unlimited access to their smartphones throughout the day, they seem to use social media far less than their peers who are restricted from using their phones in school. 

One reason for this may be that children, and teens especially, have a basic developmental need for authentic social connection, and since kids in conventional school have little time to develop deep, in-person relationships with peers, they turn to social media to fill that void. When social media becomes a substitute for real community and authentic relationships, it’s going to be hard to self-regulate and resist compulsive use patterns. Kids who grow up at the Macomber Center, in contrast, are afforded the time and autonomy to delve deeply into their interests, build meaningful in-person relationships, and create rich, fulfilling lives together. In that context, social media does not have a large role to play. 

Recently, we asked some teens how they use smartphones and social media at Macomber. Many told us they are rarely on social media at all. Several said they “don’t need it,” “aren’t interested,” or “don’t really care about it,” and one noted that he knows himself well enough to recognize it wouldn’t be good for him.

Those who do use social media tend to do so intentionally. They use it to stay connected with friends when they are away from Macomber; they go on Reddit to discuss niche interests too obscure to discuss with their friends (mostly genres of music or video games), and they use Instagram to share art work with a larger audience. 

Some said that when they do just scroll social media, they do so only for short periods, usually in the morning before friends arrive at the Center, and several noted that they avoid it altogether when other people are around, preferring to do something “real” with friends whenever possible.

They all demonstrated a sophisticated understanding of how negative and toxic online social dynamics function. Despite the fact that many of them don’t use it much, and some none at all, they are well-informed about online culture. They are clearly not being sheltered from the digital world they are growing up in; they simply have a different relationship to it than many of their peers.

Most of what these kids do on their phones is directly connected to their personal interests and is not related to social media. Kids create digital music, animations, stories, and art; watch tutorials; and research topics they care deeply about.

Technology Within a Self-Directed Learning Community

Technology at Macomber is embedded within a broader culture of self-directed learning, mixed-age community, and mutual respect. Screens are not treated as a separate or dangerous category of experience, but as one part of a larger ecosystem of learning, play, and connection.

Conversations about technology happen organically, between peers, with staff, and within the community. When questions or concerns arise, they are addressed through dialogue rather than punishment or prohibition. Children feel safe asking for help, reflecting on their choices, and adjusting their behavior when something no longer feels supportive.

Because children are trusted, they develop trust in themselves. Many naturally refine how and when they use technology, integrating digital tools into creative projects, social life, or learning goals. These patterns are not signs of excess or deficiency, but of children learning, through lived experience, what works for them.

Preparing Children for the World They Live In

Children today are growing up in an information-rich, digitally mediated world. The question is not whether they will engage with technology, but whether they will develop the judgment, self-awareness, and confidence to use it in a way that supports their individual flourishing, rather than being manipulated by it.

At Macomber Center, we see that when children are trusted with autonomy, they do not become reckless or disengaged; they become discerning. They notice how different activities affect their focus, mood, and relationships, and whether they support their intentions or distract them from their goals.

In this way, technology becomes one more domain in which children learn to navigate complexity, assess risk, collaborate with others, and make choices aligned with their values. These are not just digital skills; they are life skills.

A Closing Note to Families

Families often arrive at Macomber carrying understandable worries about screens, technology, and their children’s well-being. Many have been shaped by alarming headlines or by past experiences in systems that did not serve their child well.

When children are respected as capable learners, supported within a caring community, and given the freedom to direct their own lives, technology does not dominate or diminish them. Instead, it becomes one of many tools through which they explore, connect, create, and grow.

At Macomber Center, we trust children, and we support them as they learn to trust themselves. That trust is the foundation not only of how children engage with technology, but of how they learn to thrive in the world.